About nine years ago, I took a Missions and Theology class at my private, predominantly White undergrad. For this class, I remember consuming the book, "The Community of the King" by Howard A. Synder immediately. It was the first insightful and soul-feeding piece I read at the time describing the church as an empowered community more than a social location. It also described faith, as a liberating verb that needed to be practiced in social action. Little did I know the author credited some of his inspiration and writing to Latino theologians Orlando E. Costas and René Padilla. I look back and realize this book was the closest thing exposing me to my roots and Latin American theologians when theology was (and still is) white centered at faith-based institutions. Perhaps this is what made that book so soul-feeding, because it was a familiar place in my desert.
Jump forward to today, and I am writing this after completing my first day of my “History and Theology of Integral Mission” class taught by Dra. Ruth Padilla DeBorst, daughter of the spiritual giant René Padilla. This was a full circle moment: seeing Dra. Padilla DeBorst teach a Latinx theology course nine years later, at a theological and prestigious institution where I am currently pursuing my Master of Divinity degree. I remember seeing her name on the course list a few months ago and just knew I had to take this class to find an oasis in my desert again.
“Something familiar,” I thought. What I didn’t know was the feeling that would come in showing up as the only Latina in class, other than Dra. Padilla DeBorst. As the class commented on the material of the day, I couldn’t help but come to a realization that I am learning about myself, my people, and theology, under a foreign environment, the academy and not home, not mi mama, hermanas, not la iglesia.
One of the hardest things in academia is having your identity, spirituality, and essentially whole being, placed under the gaze of White classmates where debates and scrutiny come to play at an institution.
It’s a vulnerable place and different in the way I have ever done theology, yet I’m here and showing up, not for the institution or to offer explanation but for myself and my community.
I am crafting skill, practice, research, and figuring out what it means to embody life as a mujerista scholar, hija, amiga, and leader. This is why I am here.
“Should we be setting tables for others and marginalized communities or leave a blank canvas?” I say in class today. There’s a sudden pause and a few “hmms”.
Dra. Ruth Padilla DeBorst looks at me after my rhetorical question. She winks at me from the side and we exchange a look of familiarity in my desert.
“One of the hardest things in academia is having your identity, spirituality, and essentially whole being, placed under the gaze of White classmates where debates and scrutiny come to play at an institution. “
😮💨phewwww